竹炉山房

上次说到上海小女人是极品之一，现在就来解释一下为什么要加上“之一”，除了为了表示客观以外，主要原因就是很久以前认识的这两个江苏小女人的存在。怎么个极品法呢，翻出我从前被人戏谑为GRE满分的E文日志，就知道是怎么回事了……

2005年5月27日

Fcuk Those Two Women!

The two women who are living neighbouring, as I mentioned b4, are the most worst women I ever seen on this planet. They are really dirty. They put the dirty clothing in a basket until there seems no room for another months clothing to put in. They hardly clean the kitchen, while the black beetles are running everywhere, even in the fridge! In March I led them have a big cleaning. However, they'll never show their consciousness on cleaning the public area. Rubbish is everywhere. The entry of sewer of bathroom is blocked by their long hair. They'll never clean them up. Fucking those dirty stupid freak women! I really hate them.

They are really guly, ugly and nauseous. They have fat asses, and I am afraid their asses will become fatter and fatter. OMG, who creates such a creature? If it was their parent’s fault, then the God will smile; if it was the God's fault, then their parents will smile. Anyway, it was the devil's classic creation that made such two fat dumplings.

Feeling sorry for their boyfriends (if they had), parents (God bless them!) and all the friends who unfortunately know them, I decide to move out. Not only because they are the mass of evil, but also because they are really narrow-minded while trying to sneak every penny I earned. Un-fucking-believable! I have been living near them for about 6 mths! Oh, my mercy God, please forgive my profane words. Just take them, take them to the hell, or any places like that, for example, cloacae, graveyard, dark forest with killer everglade, and so on. I'll never mind!

我在想要不要翻译。我怕翻译了就少了当时那股原汁原味了，不过为不使大家看着小绿豆字头晕起见，就稍稍翻译一下吧。

2005年5月27日

xx这两个极品小女人

隔壁俩小女人是人间极品、地球一绝。她们要有多脏就有多脏。怎么讲？她们会把衣服放在一个巨——大的篮子里，堆到半个洗衣机这么高然后去洗。她们从不打扫厨房，黑色小蟑螂爬了一地，甚至在冰箱里都能看到螂们的身影。实在看不下去了就在3月份领导了一次大扫除。然而她们也只是马虎了事，对待公共区域的脏乱差毫无表示。要知道我是房客，她们是房东啊！结果颠倒过来了。到处都是垃圾。还有浴室也被女人头发堵住了，结果还是我去把下水道掀开了清洁的。xx他娘的恶心女人！

她们又脏又懒让人恶心。有着两个肥屁股，我估计那俩肥屁股会越来越肥。上帝，谁创造了这两个畸形生物啊？如果是她们父母的过错，那上帝就笑了；如果是上帝的过错，那父母就笑了。不管怎样，她们这两个肥饺子是恶魔最经典的创造物！

从内心底为她们的男友（如果她们有的话）、父母（上帝保佑他们）和朋友（不幸认识她们的）难过。我打算立刻搬出这个房子。不仅仅因为她们是邪恶的化身，而且因为她们狭隘精明想要把我赚的每分钱都贪掉。xx他娘的难以置信，我竟然在这个屋子里跟她们邻居了六个月之久！那谁谁，把她们最好送到地狱去，或者随便什么地方都行，比如阴沟、坟场、黑暗沼泽等等。我不会介意的！

我发现现在中文水平已经大幅下降了，翻译起来真累。Anyway还是看英文原版的比较经典，个人认为……

顺便提一提那两个女人的籍贯：扬州和张家港。不知道她们现在有没有掉进阴沟里去，还是已经嫁给某某倒霉的民工了。